What are you held up on?
If you are like most people, you probably have something that holds you back. It could be anything really. Most of the time we are self-aware and know what it is but sometimes we are just stuck and have no idea why.
Take a minute to identify your hold up…….Don’t have one? Stop lying, we all do and I still love ya!
These hold ups can be literally ANYTHING! Something from childhood, our teen years or even our adult life which shapes and defines who we are/become. Sometimes it can be a positive and well sometimes it can be a negative. It is the negative side of being held up that is detrimental to our psyche. The negatives are what need to be released ASAP, if you want to live your best life.
For a large majority of my twenties I was held up on what other people thought. Big mistake. I realize this is too common, as I speak with other women and they utter the exact same thing. Looking back, as I get closer to my thirty-fifth year, I wonder why I spent so long caring what other people thought about my life’s decisions. Key word MY. I mean I have always had this certainty about myself, yet for some reason this was a factor in my life, which made me feel insecure. What if this person says this, or that person says that….It did not matter what it was in regards to, I cared and I don’t know why.
It might have been about my college path, career choice, take this job or that one, buy this big item or don’t. I always felt like it mattered what others thought. What was my problem and why couldn’t I manage to just stick with what I wanted in my heart? What kept me so held up on caring about the opinions of others? To this day, I still have no legit answer for that.
When I finally got to that point where I just didn’t give a fuck anymore , about other people’s thoughts, in regards to my life’s decisions, I finally reclaimed ownership of my life. What a feeling of freedom. I will never turn back to that point of needing other’s approval. Never.
Crystle, you have another car? Crystle, you should really do this, Crystle, you should really have your children here or there, Crystle, why are you bottle feeding? Crystle, this and Crystle that the list goes on and on. In the grand scheme of things, it was dumb shit but I would second guess my own decisions and that is where the hold up, held on.
It was overwhelming, depressing even, just waiting for the avalanche of unwelcome opinions. All because I was investing time in caring, about whether others disapproved or not.
So, the question is this. Do you find yourself ruminating over things, it can literally be anything? If so, here are five ways to easily help yourself, as you work towards reclaiming your life and feeling confident enough to finally break up with your hold ups.
- Don’t accept your situation if you are unhappy.
Fuck, if you are unhappy and can acknowledge that, you are already ahead of the game, so congrats! Time to put your big girl/boy pants on and keep moving forward.
2. Take control of your OWN happiness
STOP! Repeat after me, STOP blaming other people for the way your life currently is. You are the one who is in control, no one else. You are not unhappy because your boss sucks. You are unhappy because you know you should move on but can’t/won’t. It’s time to own our happiness.
3. Don’t be afraid to fail
For real, Nike was on to something. Just Do It. Failure, who cares? You will have no regrets later. I opened a mobile clothing boutique (Styles for Miles) because I had a dream, a literal dream. I know this is played out but YOLO (you only live once) so like Nike says, Just Do It! Work hard, be passionate and work harder (insert tears, panic, blood and a lot of other shit in between.) There will be success, no doubt. Keep working.
4. Avoid comparing yourself with other people
Honestly, who gives a shit about your neighbor “insert name here” who is perfect and has it all. Most likely, she’s held up on the fact that she’s not you (no lie, ask her when you’re all drunk on that Rose.) I bet she’ll say she admires YOUR life….Weird shit, right? The kiss of death lies with the fact, that we aren’t cool with who we are. Be cool, own your shit. I am seriously an open book, filled with crazy but I don’t care what other people do, have, said or whatever else gets us all bothered. Fuck em’ as I say often, I would be friends with me (hahahaha.)
5. Find your own definition of success, not what society says
I could spend all day on this. Who gives a shit if Aunt Ethel thinks you should be a housewife, if you want to be a professional mermaid, chef, world traveler, whatever it is, go for it. There is NOTHING to lose, you only gain regret and that SUCKS. That business that sounds so crazy to Uncle Stew, tell him to suck it. Well maybe not, but you can always apologize later, so go for it if you are feeling extra bold. I’m like 18% kidding about disrespecting relatives but the point is, just do what YOU need to do, to feel like you’ve made it. That definition is subjective. BE SUBJECTIVE.
The longer we are held up, the more time we are not living our best life. Remember time is not guaranteed. Let shit go, do what you want to do and just be a good human.